The best laid plans

Here’s a picture of a newborn goat, and why not. No story relevance whatsoever.

Oh the saga of the cycle conversion, this was supposed to be simple!

Finally I have managed to unbox the conversion kit, all the parts are there…but wait, there’s no manual on how to put it all together. Really, the amount of money that they charge for this thing and they cannot print off an instruction manual? Back in the house, cuppa distraction, print off the manual. Back out, the wheel does not fit, not a complete surprise, I have watched enough videos to know that this is quite common. Fiddle, Faff and curse, the electric wheel is no lightweight to lift. It fits! So now to the fitting of the tyre and inner tube.

What no rim tape? I am supposed to use the tape on the current wheel, not the same width, stingy b… It will have to wait till tomorrow when I nip the cycle shop. Fit the brakes then. Off comes the hand grips and the brakes, along with the gear selectors, they are all one unit, so the electric cutout ones are back in the box, they looked cheap any way and so long as I stop peddling the motor stops, so no big issue. But I can feel the weight of the shadow pressing down on my shoulders, the doubt of making the right choice looming, it’s too late to return now there are marks on it.

Fitted the battery holder, unfitted the battery holder, fitted the bike pump on the other bottle holder fittings, refitted the battery holder. Fitted the controller bag, connected some wires and zip tied them in place. Now the throttle, or should I, It is illegal in Britain to use it on the road, will I be tempted?  Sod it I might as well, the parts in the box are not decreasing and the value for money is looking like I could have ordered a skinny kit, if they did one. Nope it will not fit, 45 minutes of trying it this way, that way, the other way and the variations of all ways. Upside down was even tried, It will not fit on, back in the box.

Ok, the accessories list like thus:-

• Brake levers, in the box
• Throttle, In the box
• LCD  screen

The LCD took another hour to get to fit, and even though many a time it looked like it to was destined to go back to the box, it cost too much to not use it. Even if I had to duck tape the bloody thing on to the handle bars it was going on. One out of three accessories made it out of the box and stayed out, progress

Onto the PAS system, quite a simple system really. A sensor is mounted on the frame by using the bikes own fitting and a plastic circle with magnets on is slipped onto  the crank arm behind the peddle. Off with the peddle, easy when you have the tools. Off with the, oh, my bike does not have one.

This is the point where if I still drank, I would have been off to the pub for more than a few pints. Not one part of this easy conversion has gone to plan. Think man think. My brain is clouding over, the weight on my shoulders increasing, the shadows are starting to embrace. Before my breakdown this would have been child’s play, now; now it is more like sinking into cement whilst carrying an elephant. Glue, that was the solution, that is what was used. Tomorrow I will find out if my other me agrees with that decision.

Time was called, and in I have come. A torque arm has been purchased to help combat the wheels twist (spinning out of the dropouts) and to ease my mind, well, by ease I mean stop the headache of should I, should I not.

So here we are, on hold. Aching, heavy and full of doubt.

I need Ice cream.