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Monthly Archives: May 2017

Reflections…Week Twenty

canstockphoto8630797It has been a week since starting my brothers present, a week I wish had started earlier, his birthday fast approaches.

Now, if I had been happy with the colours, or rather shades thereof, I may have been at a more comfortable point for finishing for his birthday, but alas the background went to six coats and the foreground has gone to four, two original colour and two the lighter version, and has yet to be completed. I know the main subject is going to be painstakingly slow and hopefully only three coats in places.

But I am happy with the results at this stage, which is a good sign.

To throw a curveball into the mix, the poetry class started this week, I have heard before that this can be a very effective therapy, all I have to do is get the ‘Pam Ayers style’ as the only way of doing poetry out of my mind; that and limericks.

The class also comes with homework, not really compulsory but the therapy is in the doing rather than the listening as I understand it. For some reason I have just had to mind that I have not yet watched Dead Poets Society, odd in itself as it is a Robin Williams film, will have to rectify that.

The theme for next week to start with was heaven, the ‘teachers’ being chocolate, this bought inspiration for my subject matter, but was then changed, due to the subdued reaction, to –  loss of a person.  Cheery theme for week one, this week being the introduction as it were, no pressure!

Well I am not in a position to even try to open up that can of worms at the present, but I am willing to give the heaven one a go. Even try one of the metres I have read about.

What can possibly go wrong?


For a start, I have to concentrate on the painting to try and finish for Tuesday night, the poetry is on Wednesday morning, this leaves the time my meds start kicking in and the world goes dizzy left free, no time to even contemplate painting detailed work, I have tried painting in this state before – only to wake, look at the picture and go WTF.

I shall not be going down that rabbit hole again any time soon, well not with a paint brush.

But words???

That is not a rabbit hole not yet investigated…



Adventure awaits…

Reflections…Week Nineteen

canstockphoto8630797As usual my brothers birthday is fast approaching and until today I have had no idea of what to get him, to be honest it usually applies to all birthdays, or I have an idea but the cost is too high. If it works it will be a hit I am sure, if not he will have the cop-out cash in card.

I have been sitting on a colouring in picture for Leo, my son, for over a week now and it was in showing it to him this afternoon the idea came to me. The picture is on glossy paper and I needed to take a photo of it to print it out onto normal paper for him, if he wanted to do it.

The picture – two carp in simple Chinese style.

It was being pushed as a kiddies colour in picture but I recon it would easily pass as an adult one. A bit of jiggling around and drawing the fish myself, the 914 x 356mm (or 36 x 14inch) canvas I have in the wardrobe would be the perfect size to be able to set the fish off and not crowd the detail of the scales. As I sit writing this the fish has been 2/3rds completed. I am chuffed too bits that the drawing has gone so smoothly, I have tried to do fish before but they always look terrible, even the outline looks oddly shaped normally, but this one looks good.

This weeks reflection is early and it is short, but I need to get back to this drawing now the little fella has gone to bed, and before my meds kick in and skew anything I draw away from what it is I am trying to do.

As it is a new project, it will be broken down as photos for each stage and placed onto my website at a date post birthday.

Reflections…Week Eighteen

canstockphoto8630797I once had to dump my motorbike and jump into the side of an Artic Lorry Cab, leaving a dent in the cab door and wrapping my tobacco tin around my thigh where it hit the cab wheel. I was bruised and I ached the next day but I went back to my very manual job. Just another day, just another bruise. It was a walk away, though for the motorbike it was the end, that went under the wheel – and then under it a second time as he reversed back over it to see what he had hit.

I’m older now, not so able to just shake off the knocks, but I manage. What I find difficult is the days I wake up with every muscle aching for no reason, my head swimming like it is the morning after the night before, including the hissss – sunlight – shut the curtains and block it out, and the brain fog.  Yesterday was bad, I hardly moved out of my darkened room, my head in limbo from one thought to the next, even prompting by spot didn’t get me out of the house.  It took most of today to work up the momentum to do it, sometimes going outside is like walking against a strong wind, but only you feel it, and until you do, you don’t really understand how difficult it is.

Spot has been a godsend in my recovery, she knows when I am dipping, she plays the fool more elaborately to cheer me up, in her mind it works because I take steps to divert it when I can, she is my early warning system when I don’t wake with it in place. She will prompt me for going out, to the point of anoyance, and a simple day out for a walk with her is something to aim for .

And she gives good cuddles without asking.

But even with Spot in place the constant pain is starting to wear me down, I have support in place, but I just want to know what is happening and why my feet feel like someone is trying to rip them apart. These are the worst parts and at the same time these are the ‘worst’ parts.

They hurt the most and they hinder the most, I cannot remember a time without some sort of pain in them now. I hate being given ‘advice’, the meaning well’ness is there, but if it aggravates whatever it is, I suffer the next day maybe two. An exercise for one complaint can be torture for another. That is why I am waiting for an answer from the doctors before I start anything new, heck even they have offered no exercises to do that I am not already doing.

Its been two and a half years now and though I have a few “it’s not” statements the path has run its course and i am being signed off, so I have to start right back at the beginning because I was sent the wrong way. Not that I was expecting much from Neuro, they admitted that my stammer/stutter and twitch, which appeared out of the blue five years ago, was neurological but they did not know why, off I was sent to ‘receive help’ to accept this new feature, job done. But never have I been treated like I was dog  dirt on a shoe for being there, on another doctors referral, and wasting his time before.

All I want is an answer to the question….”Whats up doc?”


Telford Kite Festival 07/05/17

DSCF1814With taking my own kites I half expected the wind to be insufficient, mine are after all known as the wind scarers. For the most part the wind was, for the larger kites, not quite consistently strong enough to stay up beyond short periods of time, although the wind was more favourable to the medium and smaller kites much to the delight of the children.

What I found best about the festival, this is the second I have been to – the first was showers on and off and no wind, was the range of styles and designs of kites on show either in the air or in the pursuit of being. I think at one point nearly all types of commercial kite were on show.

With the absence of winds strong enough to lift the large kites and maintain their altitude, line laundry was scarce, strangely absent was the ground kites, not even showing outside the sales tent bumping the ground.

Overall I would say the festival is aimed primarily at children, the small ones, rather than us larger ones and judging by the smiles on the faces of the little ones – it is a success. Not the kind of kite festival I was expecting, but for a day out with the kids, where they can even create their own kite to fly along the bought ones, I would say it would be bang on.

As for me personally and my kites, I did not fly, for me and my limited air time and therefore lack of confidence in busy areas, I felt that there was too little room to plummet from the sky safely, I saw similar sized ones go down quite regularly.

What the ducks made of the whole event as they flew over the park to the pool, I have no idea.

video of the day

Reflections…Week Seventeen

canstockphoto8630797Future Therapy???

Wednesday is a drop in day at one of the services I use, with one of the staff wanting a chat I was asked if I could pop in. The person to whom I was having a ‘chat’ with never got the chance to have it but the morning was not lost.

A new member was being signed in and shown what was what, I say ‘new’ member but she was a returning one after several years absence, and a lot of changes. The whole thing is informal in atmosphere, that is the purpose. The aim is to be able to get away for a little bit and just have a cuppa in a friendly environment, one that has support there if you need. Sometimes support comes in the simple form of a cup of tea and conversation, maybe even a laugh or two.

I wandered over and sat at the table with them, cup of tea in hand, an experimental one – a ‘relaxing infusion’, well that’s what it said on the box, containing cinnamon, liquorish and ‘catnip?‘ amongst a long list of other ingredients.  The reality was more what one would imagine the scrapings of a potpourri dish to taste like if boiling water was added. One tried to look composed whilst drinking it, though I doubt I did.

One was not relaxed after half a cup, nor the sink after the other half. Anyway back to the chat…

The new member was given a timetable, upon this was the day, time and place at which we were sat. “I’d like to do the poetry.” said the new member, the staff member looked at the timetable and said they used to do it but the chap that ran the session was no longer with the company which was a shame as it was popular… Long story short, they may have a replacement if the interest is there, the ‘replacement’ is going to be the last to find out about it.

Ones experience of writing poetry is limited to that from school and one session at group. At school it had to rhyme and I was limited at it, at best, limerick’s not being allowed, my favourite kind of poem at the time, due to their ‘rudeness’. The ‘I am” poem at group I did not see as a poem as such because it did not ‘fit’ into my taught parameters. Upon saying this to the staff member she said “No, that is not what poetry has to be, it’s about putting your emotions down onto paper!” 

One has no clue as to what she meant by that, classes will be required just to have that translated for me to comprehend it. Structure and form has been hammered in too much.

Clunky as it may be to start with, when/if the classes start, one will post any poetry written, not for the extra pressure but because of it. I believe that the extra pressure placed upon my writing, by doing the blogs, has made my writing better. Not only has it made me think about what and how I write but I believe it is a way to improve it further still.

Books written in the future will benefit from it I am sure.