RSS Feed

Category Archives: Diary

Reflections 2018 w27

Spot is not having a good week.

Her back legs/hips are stiff, and it could be for a number of reasons.

  1. On Monday she tried to wrap my legs and stick with her lead, this lead to a near trip, which resulted in her letting out a high pitched squeal, what it was I did to her I do not know, but it could be the cause.
  2. She has been suffering in this heat, even with all the tricks I’ve been using. One will be buying a cooling mat next week to add to the temperature defences.
  3. She is stubbornly not drinking enough in the day, instead leaving it till late afternoon/early evening to get her fill. Even when dehydrated. Water melon has been a godsend in combatting this, but it is not enough. She is not impressed with iced water either.
  4. She also started the week off being slightly blocked up, again connected with the dehydration, and licking my sisters dog – a walking furball dispenser.
  5. She misjudged a jump over a board in the garden – this resulted in a thud to the inner thighs of the back legs, she will allow massage nearly all day.

But it has changed how I am looking at days out with her, as at 9.5yrs she is not getting any younger and arthritis in Jack Russel dogs is common, but I do not want to leave her behind one what is ‘our’ days out, even in the future.

So one has to look at alternative ways to cope – just in case she cannot walk any further – half way round.

A couple of ideas look promising,  but the one I like the most, and the one that will allow greater distance walks (potentially) with her, is also the most expensive.

One now has to work out what to sell in order to buy it; but I may try one of the cheaper alternatives for the shorter walks.

https://www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2018

Advertisements

Reflections 2018 w26

The problem with an allotment, especially where the soil is of the clay variety, is holidays.

And this holiday turned out to be perfectly timed with a heat wave.

One had the next plot over to water for me whilst we were away,  but my dads method of gardening is 1970’s style, a style I for one will not be doing when I get my own plot. The method is to dig in compost to “improve the soil”, this particular plot has had this done for 25 years+ by dad, and it is no better now than it was 15 years ago, and is a battle to stop it from baking hard and cracking. There are other ways, and it will be several on trial on mine to work out which works in the area one lives.

This baking of soil was what the neighbour had to deal with while I was away.

Because of the heat and dryness I was expecting a lot of items to have bolted, but only a few things have. The sweetcorn has decided, at 2ft tall to call it a day on ground clearance and grow tassels. The baby corn looks stronger thought much taller. My purple peas are ready to pick, they are that tasty even I can eat them raw, the plant however looks in poor health.

Strawberry plants are sending out runners, raspberry’s have ripened, gone past it, dried  up and yellowing. The rhubarb has stalled, so none to go down the food-bank in the morning. One did however pick my first yellow baby courgettes for lunch tomorrow.

Everything else seems ok, the greenhouses are in so much shade from the trees next door that they have been protected, luckily. But the weeds have gone berserk, there is more growth on them than anything else.

So this week will be spent trying to tidy up the plot whilst avoiding one individual and the sun/heat.

I will also be looking over a short story written for a Stoke on Trent last year, but was finished too late, adjusting it if need be, there is a 100 more words that could be used this time round, and sending it off.

If it reads the same as last year it’s a competition winner.

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2018

Reflections 2018 w25

One thinks that one can, at times, have an almost romantic view of the nature that is around me.

Only for nature to give me a quick, sharp, jab of reality.

I had in mind this week to actually take my sketch book, along with my watercolour set, outdoors! A big step for me.

The setting – a small stream flowing around several bends, long grass atop of sandy banks, small islands of pebbles scattered along the shallower parts. Serine indeed, with the soundtrack of trickling water to relax with.

The plan was for Spot and myself to nestle in on a lower part of a bank, away from the sight of passing dog walkers, and just relax. My artwork not on show, thus reducing the anxiety of publicly sketching and painting, snacks and a flask of fruity green tea to hand.

One thought it may be prudent to goto the location today – pre sunset – just to have an idea as to where one would like to be situated. Armed with my trusty Tilly hat, covered in the most repugnant anti-mosquito spray I have, just in case, one took Spot for a little walk.

The air was still and warm from the days earlier summer temperatures, the stream was low, much lower than what one remembered it from last time, but this served only to make the pebble islands have greater character, a real bonus for the artwork to come in the following week. The long grass brushed gently against bare skin of my lower legs, parting ways in front as Spot pushed through, for her, a towering forest of green. Her white tail wagging all the while.

Yes, this was a pleasant walk.

A spot was found that would be suitable for the later excursion, secluded, and a flat area large enough that a seat could be placed on the ground for Spot and myself to share, whilst being able to place the art materials around in an orderly fashion. Yes this was the spot.

We sat for a while admiring the view, then the gnats must have gotten used to the smell of the repellent, and I became a viable option for lunch, vowing to wear much more next time I stood up.

The low angle of the sun, now setting, made the gnats shine as they flew around. They shone like the droplets of water that makes up the mist, swirling in a thick mass – at head height. And yet my head height was only level with the top of the bank, I had yet to climb up into that swirling mass of glistening white, currently starting to obscure the view of the surroundings, I had no other exit. One just hoped that the stinky repellent was enough to get clear of the area – quickly! Without all exposed areas of skin bitten. One has never seen so many gnats as one did today.

The sketching trip I think will be changed to a quick visit for photo’s, as I do not think that even if the entire bottle of spray was to be used, it would be enough. Even as the memory is recalled it is making me itch.

So far I am lucky not to have bites starting to develop.

hwww.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2018

Reflections 2018 w22

Today was supposed to a trip to the Etruria canal festival but due to the weather it was altered to a play centre.

The usual suspects were there, myself (obviously), My Son, Mum, my Sister and here two little ones. The idea being they would be occupied and kept dry, that and my nieces wheelchair would not sink in the mud. The dry part was not so successful.

The place was relatively quiet at the beginning so I was grabbed by my son to chase him around the child sized hamster assault course/cage, this is what normally happens when we get here, this is also not what my sister was expecting; thus she was dressed inappropriately, which somehow was my fault in not knowing that she did not know that she also would be dragged into the cage, even though I did not know she would be. In fairness I think it was the speed at which my son gets around on hands and knees that threw her, and maybe the speed that her fat b……d of a brother gets around as well. In my defence I have to try and catch my son. He mocks me with the floss if I don’t give 100%

The play surfaces of the multi level cage of pain are padded, which helps old joints and feet from any impacts, I have learnt to just throw myself around in there and not worry about it. However even with the pain meds I am on, plus the over the counter pre dosage, the play centre is like a credit card…I will pay for it later. And right now it is later. One normally has a fortnight to recover before it happens allover again but because of his holiday rearrangements and my exe’s birthday I only had a week this time.

Besides my back gets cracked in there, loudly, which could be a good thing – or a bad one, we will see the next physio appointment, it might improve the A4 piece of paper exercise drawings to do. It will defiantly help a chiropractor when I can afford one, more movement in my spine.

One downside though…

No ice lollies for sale, not a one. The kids where going around hair sodden, the adults that are on it were in various states of redness/sweatiness/sodden hair and they are only thinking about selling them…WTF?

Hot Kids + Hot Adults = Ice lollies sales

They don’t even have ice-cream for the parties – again WTF?

So we came home and had them.

My sister has had a challenge thrown at her by my Son (nearly 7)…When we beat them next time…

I have told him…

Next time she will dress for it, AND will want revenge, so will be triple determined to catch us. Even more so when she reads his gauntlet throw-down he came up with after she had left for home.

That day is gonna hurt!

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2018

Reflections 2018 w21

There be mice up the allotment.

It may come as no surprise to have mice on an allotment plot, it is after all common, but this is a little bit more special than that. If you like mice that is.

I was moving some items around when a mouse darted from the corner of the greenhouse, I said hello, but it darted out of the small gap in the wood it rests upon. Not such an uncommon thing disturbing small creatures, however I have never unintentionally destroyed a home before.

How did I know I had now?

Well the babies, still blind, where flopping around trying to get away. They were in a place that was unsafe for them, due to the work I was doing, so I had to do the one thing you are not supposed to do; move them.

There was just the two of them so I placed paper towel in a plant pot and scooped them up, placed them near where I found them and covered it back over with the plastic bag that was originally covering. I then left therein house so the mother could return back to them.

The next day they were gone, as expected,  but today I saw three mice around the back of the greenhouse. I have not had that much damage done by mice so it is bygones for now.

However here are the two little ones.

IMG_1776.JPG

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2018

Reflections 2018 w20

On Thursday, at the B-WELL drop in, there was a joke made, after I had said some news – well more of an update on my medical journey, that I would not be going the workshop on Monday.

The workshop?

Suppressing Emotions.

It all came about because of my tone and the usual answer to “how are you?”, we are not allowed to say fine because that stands for…

  1. F…Feelings
  2. I…Inside
  3. N…Not being
  4. E…Expressed

So I go with “OK”, I can’t even be bothered with the lie of ‘I’m.

So the news…

I have had yet another referral for therapy rejected without so much as saying hello, this makes six or seven times now – drugs – they are thrown at me, but therapy…Pft!

And I am not expressing any emotion, I may have had a little rant with the my-medical-experience poem/prose I wrote, but other than that one does not know what one feels – except numb.

If I go to the doctor with this feeling – it’s the depression – and it is back to the meds.

But what else am I supposed to feel? Any emotion that has a negative connotation to it will be medically suppressed. So suppression becomes a self defence so you do not get placed on more medication that could strip away the person within. It becomes automatic.

The psychologist I spoke to (that had to deliver the months old news), a young lady still in training, was very empathetic, and full of belief in the system. All to often the empathy is the first thing to be beaten out of them from the doors closing as they try to get a patient treated – other than medication.

I sincerely hope that it never happens to her, we need more like her, is all I left that room thinking.

How sad is that?

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2018

My Medical Experience …#Poetry#Poem#Prose

My Medical Experience

 

A broken leg will not be left,

pain killers just be given.

No gaping wound be stitch denied

a plaster handed out.

A foreign object pierced the skin

would not be left to fester.

And if your heart will have attack,

would lazy just be called?

An if to walk you need some help

would therapy be given?

 

But what if these you were denied, and only pills be given?

What if these will come with scorn, and government you blame?

How well would you become?

How soon would you to work return, if nothing was to change?

And if you’re told you choose that life, because you find it easy.

How welcome would you feel?

 

There is no magic pill to have, that is – what we are told.

But now they have a pill for that, it’s new, just look, behold!

Therapy supposed to be, to solve the problem had.

But all I do is take damn pills, and this i’m told be glad.

Side-effects to be ignored, or worse just be accepted.

But still I go and battle on, I’m drained, I have been emptied.

 

How long do I remain unwell, and better not be getting,

before you will accept your wrong, and your pills – they need a vetting?

 

A § M 

15/05/2018

 

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk