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Monthly Archives: July 2017

Reflections …Week Twenty Nine

canstockphoto8630797There was a plan for this week, a goal was set…It was not even close to being done.

Severe Laryngitis one did awake with , if one could call it that, throughout Monday. It knocked me sideways, I felt as though for some insane reason one had been sliding down the stairs – minus the sledge, head first, repeatedly. With banging head and swirling brain, throat swollen and on fire the trio was completed with a fever and then chills, bed covers on, bed covers off, comfortable was not an option.  Whenever my eyelids did part open – the brightness was but stabs of pain, even vampires have more tolerance to sunlight than what I had.

Four hours one saw of that day, two cuppa soups and a few honey and lemon drinks and not much water, I got in as much as one could, but nowhere near enough that was needed. Tuesday faired not much better. By Wednesday I just wanted to get out of the house for a little bit, so went up the allotment to pick beans. Made the world of difference, I came back tired but refreshed.

The antibiotics have started to kick in now, but I still feel drained.

The plan this week?

The same as last, with an added bonus of putting things onto Ebay. There are things that one wants, but first have to get the funds, and make the space for.

Reflections…Week Twenty Eight

canstockphoto8630797The lady that runs the poetry/creative writing group has been on her holiday this week and with that free time one has been semi-procrastinating.

There has been the blue prints of a couple poems written and a short story for a competition has been thought of and thought on, to the point it is ready for the first draft to be scrawled out. Also the bare bones of another short story, for another competition, has been dumped onto my notebook pages.

But nothing’s been finished because nothing’s been started…Properly

The poems will be done by Wednesday, this I know, but I am going to have to push my wishy washy mind to have also done the first draft of one story as well, but that is the aim.

Somehow none competition stuff is easier to do because of publishing on the blog. A kind of prompt to get it done as it were.

There was a bit of a panic earlier in the week when I misplaced, and thought lost, my note book. I must now view oneself as a writer, for it was the contents of the notebook, those fleeting moments of inspiration and ideas that have been captured down, that held the greatest sense of loss. One has plenty of pads, and pens, and although there is a price attached, one has come to disregard the cost and therefore free my mind to the idea of  – ‘not wasted paper’; one will write anything down, even questions…Especially questions!

Onece the pad had been located and secured to be handed over the next day, a wave of relief came over me, but it was the next day when it was handed to me that I knew the relationship with that inanimate object had changed. Somehow it has become an extension of my psyche, and felt like a part of me had returned home.

Without ‘Monster’… #poetry #poem

With my headphones on,
and the iPod charged.
I check in my wallet,
for my list prepared.

Music then selected,
a fast beat is the track.
This time I remembered,
spare bags in my backpack.

Trolley coin inserted,
fasten wont let go.
People now glance over,
putting on a show.

Trolleys they do clatter,
chain it makes us stop.
If released by magic,
I can start my shop.

I don’t want to be here,
So I will go round fast.
Memorised where items live,
so grab em on way past.

Why do people stand right there?
Block the isle and chat.
Don’t they have a cafe here?
Thats the place for that.

Would I like to go on past?
Why yes I think I would.
Why are you even asking me?
I’d pass you if I could.

I’ve done my shopping quickly,
I’m almost through the till.
Payment process just as quick,
card tap pays the bill.

Another shopping trip complete,
another trial is passed.
It never used to be this way,
twas simpler in the past.

But now my mind plays tricks with me,
and alters my perception.
Puts a danger everywhere,
I know not what’s deception.

So if you see me fly on by,
like if I’m on a slalom.
I do it not to be “How rude”
Bad day, I beg your pardon.

‘Monster’…Poem 1 of 2
A § M

Reflections…Week Twenty Seven.

canstockphoto8630797My name has been passed along for consideration for an exhibition of writing, not a big exhibition as in National, but exponentially bigger in regards that one has even been considered.

My writing, has in the past, been subject to ridicule in one form or another. The only times I got detention was for my spelling or punctuation. English Literature was rejected as a subject, by the teacher, due to my inability to make legible a dip fountain pen. And ones attempt to further my writing skills at a creative writing class had me pulled to one side and told my English was not up to standard, I never went back, It was supposed to be a fun class.

So here one is, my writing’s being praised, especially my poems, and with it comes a kind of empowerment. One may not believe that my writing is good enough to win competitions, but it is good enough to be a contender, a far cry from where I was at the start of the blogging process.

The start of the journey was to ‘get out’ thoughts and feelings, to rid myself of demons in a way. It has adapted to thinking deeply about emotional connections to circumstances locked away in ones past, and to see how those patterns are now effecting the present. Some dots are connected quickly and some need more ‘digging’,  but it is supposed to be the journey that matters.

One thing is for certain, I believe that Miss Ross, and I am sure it had a H in it (Rhoss), was the best english teacher I had.

To prove a point, though a point is not needed, I have been looking at my old term book. Here are the differences in my educational history – teacher reports for english…

  • Feb 83, Andrew has made a satisfactory start to this years work.
  • July 83, Andrew has worked hard and has made some progress.
  • Then came along the teacher one does not have fond memories of.
  • Jan 84, Good- Andrew has worked hard and made pleasing progress. He must however improve his spelling and handwriting.
  • July 84, Spelling and handwriting show little improvement and are now sadly having a serious effect on his results. Oral work is very good indeed. (Why does this end statement seem like it was total surprise?)
  • Along comes the split to  Lit.(the above teacher) and Lang. (Miss Ross . Miss Ross also does the reports from now on.
  • Feb 85, Andrew genuinely tries hard – but his spelling is weak. He should read as widely as possible – This would help!
  • July 85, Andrew has achieved a very pleasing grade within his group in Language. He will not however be continuing the G.S.E. Literature course.
  • Jan 86, Andrew has always worked extremely hard and has produced some good work within this group, throughout this course.

I highlighted the two reports, nope, there is nothing outstanding about any of them, to show the two completely different approaches to teaching. The fist is to hammer away – “you will do it this way!!!” and the second is to find the way that best suited the student. My way was to read, a lot.

I have always found solace in a library; could this be due to the fact Miss Ross’s class – was held in the school library?

Reflections…Week Twenty Six

canstockphoto8630797There has been no poem published this week, not because one has failed to write one, truth be told I have done two, but because one was written for a competition and I have been told to enter the second when the category allows it.

The competition I wrote the first for was closed before I finished it, one gets confused with the way dates are backwards in the states. It could have been entered late; at a cost, but it will be kept until the next free one comes around.

What I found bewildering was the rules, the poem had to unpublished, including blog site, not entered into any other competition at the same time, and not a previous winner of a competition, all fair enough. However the closing date was for the end of June and the draw date the end of August, this year, but the poem had to abide by the unpublished rule until the end of March next year??? Whats that all about?

No publishing deal was on the cards for the winner, just a $100, so why the seven month after ban? Could you technically win and five months later be disqualified if you posted it on your blog? What do they do with it in those seven months? And if you don’t win are you still bound by the time period?

It could have been a one off, rules that where over cautious to that site, but it’s not. Even my local library has similar rules for a writing competition its holding. That one is for a short story, 350 words I think, one is entering, it will at least be a challenge to get exactly 350 words, let alone a beginning, middle and an end.

But I am going to have to also write, as a side note, the dates they have to be hidden until.

It makes no sense to me.

Living life by Loving Yourself- A guide to “SELF LOVE”

Living life by Loving Yourself- A guide to “SELF LOVE”

reflections…Week Twenty Five

canstockphoto8630797Today I have come back from a weeks holiday with family, and it has just                       re-affirmed the idea I could live in a small space.

The living/dining/kitchen area was approximately 18′ x 12′ and this was roomy for four, large for two and when I was on my own, it was huge. The ceiling was about 7.5′ at the apex and it did not at any point seem low. The bedroom was the usual size but this is not really relevant, this will become clear in a little while.

The second toilet was a bit close in, about elbow room each side and no chance to pick up anything by your feet, flushing, washing hands and drying on a towel was a twizzle around, the flush behind, sink, little too big for the space, to the left and towel to the right. The other shower/ toilet was a little wider but the sink cabinet got in the way of my left leg, the shower was wide, but the head was over to the left, you could stand on the right to be out of the water spray, there was this weird little shelf in the middle that frankly just got in the way of my right hip.

On the outside was a space for a shed at the back, a 10′ x 6′ shed, and by the side was a patio area,10′ x 10′ with grass, 40′ x 10′, in front of that and to finish the outside tour, the car had a space at the front to park so lets say 6′ x 22′.

This works out at around the same square footage as the last house I lived at, including the outside. The caravan was also a three bedroom sized one, this is why the bedroom sizes are not relevant nor the toilet size, they could be altered within the space, But, and this is a big but, all this space would not be equal to the downstairs volume as the ceiling in the house was 11′ tall and then it had the upstairs and then the loft space. So cheaper to heat.

The following is from several conversations…

But that’s not big enough for a family! I have had this statement when talking about tiny houses, and this would not be a tiny house, just a small one.

It’s not for a family, it’s for one maybe two people.

But what if they want a family?

They would not be looking at this house.

But if they want something small they can get a flat!

They want all the outdoor space, the storage, the patio, the veg plot area and a place to park their car. You can’t get that with the flat. Oh, and they want to own the land and their home, cheaply, with the opportunity to be semi sufficient with resources.

You have to compromise, if you want all that you need to buy the family house.

So what you are saying is a single person or a couple that could easily live in a home this size and have the outside benefits, needs to have the expenditure of the larger size building that they don’t need, are to have the running cost, or rather waste, of heating/lighting space they don’t need or use very little and have less space outside, that may be in the shade due to the house height? Which would impact the heating/lighting cost.

Also if the home was smaller, they could work less and live more. And with these changes, even with a car, their environmental impact would be much, much, smaller. Growing 10% of their food would also reduce their environmental impact too.

Oh, I suppose..but it’s still not a family home.

Let me ask you this question…

Did you leave your mums as a married 2.5 child family? 

If the answer is no, then there is a need for an affordable small house. There is a want for them and the future will require them. There are lots of empty plots of industrial/residential land around me, some have been this way for years, why are the small houses or static caravans for homes coming up against such resistance? Taxes could be paid the same as for the family houses and they could be connected to the grid just the same. We accept the idea of caravan parks for holidays, even owning one for such, but to live in??? Unacceptable!

At some point the penny will click. Usually it appears just after retirement, when the time has gone past.

But here is the kicker for me, I’m an antisocial person who seems to be drawn to a lifestyles that have a community base at its very core. Maybe it’s because they seem like me. Or have I become more like them?