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Monthly Archives: May 2018

Reflections 2018 w21

There be mice up the allotment.

It may come as no surprise to have mice on an allotment plot, it is after all common, but this is a little bit more special than that. If you like mice that is.

I was moving some items around when a mouse darted from the corner of the greenhouse, I said hello, but it darted out of the small gap in the wood it rests upon. Not such an uncommon thing disturbing small creatures, however I have never unintentionally destroyed a home before.

How did I know I had now?

Well the babies, still blind, where flopping around trying to get away. They were in a place that was unsafe for them, due to the work I was doing, so I had to do the one thing you are not supposed to do; move them.

There was just the two of them so I placed paper towel in a plant pot and scooped them up, placed them near where I found them and covered it back over with the plastic bag that was originally covering. I then left therein house so the mother could return back to them.

The next day they were gone, as expected,  but today I saw three mice around the back of the greenhouse. I have not had that much damage done by mice so it is bygones for now.

However here are the two little ones.


Reflections 2018 w20

On Thursday, at the B-WELL drop in, there was a joke made, after I had said some news – well more of an update on my medical journey, that I would not be going the workshop on Monday.

The workshop?

Suppressing Emotions.

It all came about because of my tone and the usual answer to “how are you?”, we are not allowed to say fine because that stands for…

  1. F…Feelings
  2. I…Inside
  3. N…Not being
  4. E…Expressed

So I go with “OK”, I can’t even be bothered with the lie of ‘I’m.

So the news…

I have had yet another referral for therapy rejected without so much as saying hello, this makes six or seven times now – drugs – they are thrown at me, but therapy…Pft!

And I am not expressing any emotion, I may have had a little rant with the my-medical-experience poem/prose I wrote, but other than that one does not know what one feels – except numb.

If I go to the doctor with this feeling – it’s the depression – and it is back to the meds.

But what else am I supposed to feel? Any emotion that has a negative connotation to it will be medically suppressed. So suppression becomes a self defence so you do not get placed on more medication that could strip away the person within. It becomes automatic.

The psychologist I spoke to (that had to deliver the months old news), a young lady still in training, was very empathetic, and full of belief in the system. All to often the empathy is the first thing to be beaten out of them from the doors closing as they try to get a patient treated – other than medication.

I sincerely hope that it never happens to her, we need more like her, is all I left that room thinking.

How sad is that?

My Medical Experience …#Poetry#Poem#Prose

My Medical Experience


A broken leg will not be left,

pain killers just be given.

No gaping wound be stitch denied

a plaster handed out.

A foreign object pierced the skin

would not be left to fester.

And if your heart will have attack,

would lazy just be called?

An if to walk you need some help

would therapy be given?


But what if these you were denied, and only pills be given?

What if these will come with scorn, and government you blame?

How well would you become?

How soon would you to work return, if nothing was to change?

And if you’re told you choose that life, because you find it easy.

How welcome would you feel?


There is no magic pill to have, that is – what we are told.

But now they have a pill for that, it’s new, just look, behold!

Therapy supposed to be, to solve the problem had.

But all I do is take damn pills, and this i’m told be glad.

Side-effects to be ignored, or worse just be accepted.

But still I go and battle on, I’m drained, I have been emptied.


How long do I remain unwell, and better not be getting,

before you will accept your wrong, and your pills – they need a vetting?


A § M 


Reflections 2018 w19

It’s nice when pleasure comes from cooperation.

Funds being the way they are at the moment day trips out to the coastline are pretty non existent. However Wednesday was different.

A couple of ladies from the groups I go to heard, through group discussion, about how I find a break – a peace – for a little while when at the coast and mountains; really it’s in the country away from the business of people.

They had been looking into the cost of going away for a day trip via either coach or train, neither suited either time spent travelling or cost for a day return ticket, and after I had been giving them lifts from one group to another for a month or two they approached me with an idea.

Would I be interested in driving to the coast with them if they paid for the petrol, there was no commitment to spending the day with them when we got there – and there was of my choice – I immediately said the deal had to include Spot – to which they said of course.

To be honest, and I said this to them, If I get to the point of being able to afford the petrol,  I would be happy to have them along the trips that were suitable at no cost as we all talked about the unburdening those day trips afford in a similar way, and it is a healthy release.

Unfortunately one lady could not make this trip and the back up K was trying to find, so she was not left ‘billy no mates’ as Spot and I had our walk, did not pan out either. As it turned out we were not going to go on our walk this time as a nerve became pinched from the exercises given to me for my disc bulges, so after discussing it with Spot we decided to wander around our destination, something that we had not done for a long time.

Llandudno was the destination I chose, due to K using crutches and having mobility issues, although I am pretty sure she wished we didn’t, as we over walked her – a lot. To combat my pain I walk at a British Army marching pace (following the rhythm helps), K walks at a quarter that speed, if I’d had to use my coping mechanism of headphones I would have left her behind several times. But we worked it out in the end.

The weather was overcast but warm in the areas out of the breeze, aired to warm in the breeze – a light fleece but no jacket required. Several spots of rain dropped onto the rucksack when we were eating our chips, but that was all. Overall it was a good day out, and K got to do the one thing she wanted to do…Paddle.

Spot got to run on a dog friendly beach at a stop-off on the way, so she was happy as well.

Plotting Time…#Poem#Poetry#Prose

Plotting Time


Sitting in the shed,

sorting all the seeds.

Making out the list,

writing all my needs.


Greenhouse needs a clean,

algae have to scrub.

The pots I have from last years plants,

I’m washing in a tub.


Swept remainder of the leaves,

pulled up first of this years weeds.

Plot of soil that’s been raked flat,

what is planted? This and that.


Blackbird watches in pear tree,

the robin sits on fork.

Keeps an eye out for the worms,

that show up where I walk.


Disturbing hiding frogs,

when moving bags and bins.

It looks like little mouse made home,

in old and rusty tins.


No room for ornament or light.

No place for garden gnome.

Few flowers round the edges are,

t’is mainly veg thats grown.


Now’s time for lead on Spot to put,

pack up and head off to home.

My dinner I have yet to eat,

and Spot she wants her bone. 



A § M 



Reflections 2018 w18

This week I completed a present for the lady who did the poetry group, she actually left a week ago last Friday, but I only finished the gift on Tuesday.

The photo will be on the Facebook page after she has had it along with the poem on WordPress.

The poem is on a watercolour sheet of paper with a slightly coloured background, the poem printed on top. I am sure she will like it. It follows a similar leaving present done to a prior staff member. So it looks like a personalised poem is the leaving gift of choice. Cheap some may say, others see beyond the price tag.

My challenge from now on is to carry on writing the poetry  now that the group has ended. One could goto a new poetry gathering near me, but that requires meeting new people and, one is projecting now, be made to look like a fool due to not knowing the correct terminology for the poems structure, even though I seem to write it with a natural flair. Time will tell if I go or not.

Nice and short this week as one is in pain, stupid slipped discs.

New poem out on Wednesday. Hope you enjoy.