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Category Archives: Day to Day

Reflections 2019 w36

This weeks reflections is going to be a little different, and I apologies in advance for those that read these and my poetry releases – there is going to be a double up.

All of us at some point will have to experience this, in fact it is probable the only thing in life we CAN guarantee…

My heart goes out to those sharing the feelings that this time brings.

So here is the (amended) poem…

 

JOE

 

TV now stands quiet,

We’ve no need now to shout.

For Uncle Joe, he was quite deaf,

When hearing aids fell out.

 

No – “Oh, Hello.”

Followed by a smile.

His chair it sits empty now,

It has done for a while.

 

We’re not here a visit,

But sorting what is left.

Wonder what this item is?

And, Why was this thing kept?

 

Memories we’re a sharing,

Whilst doing this last task.

With fondness and with laughter,

What more can we now ask?

 

What things we find of value,

Will those that we will leave?

More precious are the memories,

To those that do bereave.

 

I hear the clock a ticking,

Just like those at Nan’s.

Noise level is a matching,

Dried peas n shake tin cans.

 

Yes everything is leaving,

All of it must go.

We’ve said  our last fare-well,

To my,

Uncle Joe.

 

Rest in peace.

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Reflections 2019 w35

6 hours ago one was in my allotment picking weeds, and apparently nettles. But here is the difference when someone has neuropathic issues, I feel, now, as though I have elbow length nettle gloves on. A thousand stiletto wearing ants are dancing on my skin.

My legs are different, I can walk through nettles and not be sure whether I have, or whether it is just my nerves playing up.

I’m lucky for, others it is much worse.

And it is something we give no thought to until it happens to us. We here its like nettle stings up my arms and think we know the sensation, most of us have had that sensation at some point. But we usually have that point pass. It is not the intensity that gets to you – it is the consistency of it.

For those of you that dislike marmite/vegemite, imagine having that taste consistently no matter what you drink or eat. For those of you that love the above, you are probable salivating at the thought; go with a kick to the nethers, as I cannot think of a more foul taste, I am not saying that there is not one, I cannot think of one, but no one likes a kick to the nethers.

The Japanese knew of the negative effect on a person to be subjected to a “harmless” drop of water, again and again and again. It is even called torture.

Is it in the mind? I have had one doctor say my mind is creating the pain, he did not say why, or how to stop it though, so pretty useless information. Or is it in the body, where we cannot escape it and we carry it around with us day by day?

And if it started for no apparent reason, and medication side effects have been dismissed. Why has the body not developed a control for it? Just what are the benefits to ones survival having this effect?

The human body is a wonder ours thing, but sometimes it just makes you wonder.

As I cannot sleep – again, a quick update…my hands are still tingling like I have freshly picked the nettles only minutes ago even though it has been closer to 12hrs ago. This has gotten old very quickly.

I feel for those who constantly suffer. And I hope you find rest-bite from it.

Reflections 2019 w33

When do you say “goodbye” to a dementia patient?

Sounds a bit mean does it not? However it is a genuine question on perspective.

The person is still the person despite the dementia, though at times their mind is not ‘here’, the feelings for the person are the same, they may even be stuck in the struggle to find – words, or mentally in a place thats different altogether.

And is that goodbye for the persons benefit; or is it for our own?

Does the goodbye need recognition for it to be validated? Or does it not count if it is forgotten when they close their eyes for just a little while?

And why do we feel the need for it, or carry the guilt for not saying it before the final goodbye ceremony of a funeral. Which makes it seem like it has to be at least said to the living.

But when your mind blanks areas of ones mind they are no longer accessible. It is as though it never happened. So who’s perspective holds the power of the goodbye?

We are not the only species to do funerals, it has been recorded that crows do it, even to the extent of holding a silence and a gathering at the final resting place of a fallen crow. Crows also tell stories to their young much like our stories of things to watch out for. So this gets me to thinking as to whether or not they also feel the need to say goodbye, and  do they also feel guilty if they do not?

Or do we need to make every goodbye the last goodbye, carried on a smile and with a warmth in our hearts. Letting the person know that we care, and that we value the time spent with them.

Maybe thats what the crows do, because can we really say when our goodbye is going to count?

 

Reflections 2019 w32

Its been a long day. I have my son this weekend and we went out for a day trip to a butterfly house and falconry centre.

Don’t get wrong, the place was good, small, but good. And it had the best bird display we have seen. The vulture came out did one part of the show then flew away to the tree over the lemurs. The skunks came out early. The owl did not want to play at all and the finale was a bunch of parrots let out of the cages with doves and swooping birds of prey all swooshing and circling around where we sat. Never have we been to a display that the birds have been given that amount of freedom to fly.

And although the size of the butterfly house did not compare with the scale of the one from my childhood memory, it did beat it by having the iguana roaming around and the branches adorned with colourful birds flying around inside along with the butterfly’s.

For me butterfly houses are a special place, somewhere that you can be surrounded by colourful butterfly’s defying gravity, with a chance of them landing on you. A far cry from my childhood memory of the pinned butterfly’s at my local museum.

The place had also done clever things with models dotted around, making it a different atmosphere from the usual wildlife centres we go to. It was a pleasant day out.

It is unlikely we will go again as the travel time, sadly, was greater than the time spent there, making it too far for a day trip with the time constraints we have, but other centres are now going to be compared with this one.

If anyone is interested it is called https://www.butterflyhouse.co.uk/

It also tries to raise money for other charities, the one at the moment is to try to protect vultures. They are facing a very human threat – poisoning. The poachers take a couple of hours to get the ivory off the poached animals, the vultures circle above alerting the authorities, so they poison the carcass. Yet another species that may become extinct during my lifetime.

It is beginning to feel like all our future children are going to know of wildlife is the pinned, stuffed and models in museums, accompanied by stories of how we came to kill them all. Yet we still mock those that saved two males of the dodo bird.

Are we any better?

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019

Reflections 2019 w27

Well my skin is taking a strange turn this year. Instead of the usual red head burn and peel, if I misjudge being outside by 5 minutes, my skin is burning and going white. Not that the Scottish DNA that runs in the family does not provide a white sun intolerant skin as it is.

Usually if I can do it right, the sun exposure goes pink, tans ever so lightly and leaves behind more freckles, but one patch of my hands looks like I have poured bleach on it to get rid of the freckles and any sign of colour.

I have googled it, and I will bring it up with the doc when I see him, but I can only find one cause. Nothing can be done and it is more a skin type than condition.

But I remembered that I had a hypothetical conversation on vampires before. That Hollywood has not got enough red head vamps. We are a natural for this type of being.

  • We avoid the sun.
  • We do not have to be told, or trained,  to avoid it at vampire elementary.
  • We burn if it catches us unprepared.
  • We tend to lurk in the darker or more shaded recesses  of locations whilst everyone else walks in the light, perfect for a passing snack during the day.
  • Pale pasty skin is our look any way.
  • Nobody would bat an eyelid at a pale pasty red head walking down the street.

When you wear factor 50 suncream and still get burnt, you know your kind originated in some miserable weathered place.

Which makes our thick curly/wavy hair even more annoying. As this weather will make it frizz like mad.

No wonder we are classed as being moody, we have not found the weather that suits us yet.

 

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019

 

Reflections 2019 w26

It’s been an mixed week, I have been on holiday, came back to my sons birthday and my uncle going to the hospital after a fall.

That is where my first, and I hope last, encounter with love Island occurred.

My uncle is suffering from the early stages of dementia and is constantly looking for ‘you know’ on the telly. Whilst he does this he leaves programs on. Tonight it was Love Island, 20 minutes of it.

I do not understand the appeal, or what entertainment it offers that differs from the end of a night of booze down the local nightclub. Except these people are sober, I think.

Petty squabbles, jumping into differing beds like they were teenagers and that was pretty much all I saw them do.

I thought entertainment was to transport you away from reality for just little while, to give you a break. Not bring strife into your home – except via news channels.

I do not miss having my TV connected to a multitude of telly stations. It’s been 4 years since it has shown a tv station on it. And from what glimpses I catch, it is the same program formats from before I switched off.

I do not think I will be switching back on for a long while. Box sets offer programs I want to watch – minus all the adverts. Binge watch anyone?

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019

Reflections 2019 w22

One went up to the allotment today, armed with a paving slab and a couple of bags of sand, and rearranged the top half of the path for the third, and last, time.

Luckily the weeding on the no dig beds is super quick and easy, meaning one can keep on top of the plot at the same time as doing all the maul jobs.

I am looking forward to finishing the last bits now, just so I can relax and plant/harvest.

But what do I wear???

The rain’s coming in with a big drop in temperature, but when it stops and the sun comes out I’m cooking. And that has been in the space of an hour.

One cannot plan for the afternoon.

One can truly say that one is grateful for the shed, and green tea.

This time next year I will have the shed organised and the greenhouse competed/organised, so seeds can be sown and seedlings transplanted while the rain is a pouring.

There is a calm that comes with sowing seeds and pricking out plants…When your not balancing the trays.

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019