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Category Archives: Diary

Reflections 2019 w27

Well my skin is taking a strange turn this year. Instead of the usual red head burn and peel, if I misjudge being outside by 5 minutes, my skin is burning and going white. Not that the Scottish DNA that runs in the family does not provide a white sun intolerant skin as it is.

Usually if I can do it right, the sun exposure goes pink, tans ever so lightly and leaves behind more freckles, but one patch of my hands looks like I have poured bleach on it to get rid of the freckles and any sign of colour.

I have googled it, and I will bring it up with the doc when I see him, but I can only find one cause. Nothing can be done and it is more a skin type than condition.

But I remembered that I had a hypothetical conversation on vampires before. That Hollywood has not got enough red head vamps. We are a natural for this type of being.

  • We avoid the sun.
  • We do not have to be told, or trained,  to avoid it at vampire elementary.
  • We burn if it catches us unprepared.
  • We tend to lurk in the darker or more shaded recesses  of locations whilst everyone else walks in the light, perfect for a passing snack during the day.
  • Pale pasty skin is our look any way.
  • Nobody would bat an eyelid at a pale pasty red head walking down the street.

When you wear factor 50 suncream and still get burnt, you know your kind originated in some miserable weathered place.

Which makes our thick curly/wavy hair even more annoying. As this weather will make it frizz like mad.

No wonder we are classed as being moody, we have not found the weather that suits us yet.

 

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Reflections 2019 w26

It’s been an mixed week, I have been on holiday, came back to my sons birthday and my uncle going to the hospital after a fall.

That is where my first, and I hope last, encounter with love Island occurred.

My uncle is suffering from the early stages of dementia and is constantly looking for ‘you know’ on the telly. Whilst he does this he leaves programs on. Tonight it was Love Island, 20 minutes of it.

I do not understand the appeal, or what entertainment it offers that differs from the end of a night of booze down the local nightclub. Except these people are sober, I think.

Petty squabbles, jumping into differing beds like they were teenagers and that was pretty much all I saw them do.

I thought entertainment was to transport you away from reality for just little while, to give you a break. Not bring strife into your home – except via news channels.

I do not miss having my TV connected to a multitude of telly stations. It’s been 4 years since it has shown a tv station on it. And from what glimpses I catch, it is the same program formats from before I switched off.

I do not think I will be switching back on for a long while. Box sets offer programs I want to watch – minus all the adverts. Binge watch anyone?

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019

Reflections 2019 w25

The wind blew at my strapped down Tilly hat as I crested the hill that was once a fort at Dinas Dinlle, sea spray travelling over the land in a fine mist, leaving the taste of salt with each heavy breath.

I love these dog walks with Spot.

My heart pounds with the exertion my body has with the short but sudden climb, lungs filling with fresh, clean air; Welsh air. I hear only the sound of the wind and crashing waves, glad I am not trying to fight the sea to catch a fish or two, not even the bleating of the sheep can be heard. I know not if they are hiding in a far off field or just behind the wall, silently waiting for the wind to die down. Even the seagulls hang in the air as though they are in a painted seaside scene.

The only other people I can see in this quiet place are other dog walkers, some are clearly taking pleasure in the weather, others look like they wish they had cats. It’s not cold, but some are dressed like it was the middle of winter, accompanied by a bloke in shorts. My smile as we pass seems to convey my humour at the sight, much to the annoyance of the person wrapped up, which in turn makes me smile more. Not in a mean way…OK it might be a little mean.

I never get bored of doing the same walks over and over again at the coast, or in the countryside. I find a peace with the empty space, a quiet in the natural sounds, the voice in my head has nothing to find fault with that cannot be easily forgotten by something to see. Yes I may just sit and cry, emotionless, yet calm. Not knowing why, but accepting the release of pressure.

These are the times I know there is hope, because these are the times I do not need to lean on the medication.

They just do not happen often enough. But I am Grateful that they do at least happen.

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019

Reflections 2019 w22

One went up to the allotment today, armed with a paving slab and a couple of bags of sand, and rearranged the top half of the path for the third, and last, time.

Luckily the weeding on the no dig beds is super quick and easy, meaning one can keep on top of the plot at the same time as doing all the maul jobs.

I am looking forward to finishing the last bits now, just so I can relax and plant/harvest.

But what do I wear???

The rain’s coming in with a big drop in temperature, but when it stops and the sun comes out I’m cooking. And that has been in the space of an hour.

One cannot plan for the afternoon.

One can truly say that one is grateful for the shed, and green tea.

This time next year I will have the shed organised and the greenhouse competed/organised, so seeds can be sown and seedlings transplanted while the rain is a pouring.

There is a calm that comes with sowing seeds and pricking out plants…When your not balancing the trays.

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019

Reflections 2019 w20

Goodbye dear Elan…

As some of you may have picked up on, I have a dog, Spot. But she was not the only dog from the end of my failed relationship, there was also her dad, Elan. Who sadly has ‘passed away’ from ill health and old age in the time between my sons last visit and this one.

It was a tough decision on which dog to leave behind because I could not take both, Elan was a cracking dog, but my son had begun a strong bond with him…Hand feeding him from the bowl whilst he stays on the couch will do that. So the decision was made easier for me, my son would have a faithful dog and friend.

Elan was chosen for a name from one of the American Indian languages, it meant ‘friend’, he lived up to that name.

I am grateful that whilst we were looking for frogs, my son tried to deliver the news. He struggled a little, but enough was said for me to ask the question…”Is Elan still with us?”.

And I am also grateful for the fact we can talk about the feelings connected with this loss. And that when he talks of him, it is of love and affection, with a smile on his face.

So goodbye old friend, and if there is a heaven…Please don’t get too excited and piddle on Gods foot.

A sad message for my 200th post…

https://www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019

Reflections 2019 w 19

Some of you may have noticed that a poem came out earlier in the week, this is from a batch I have not published, for whatever reason, I thought I had until trying to show someone a poem via this site.

And it was not alone.

In all there will be a poem scheduled every week until August.

Allotment news…The green houses have been moved/dismantled, still work to be done on the raising platform and getting the old area cleared of rubble, but it is a lot closer now to completion. My gate has become the gate of ‘wow’, although all I see is a building site still. But one nearing the end.

And this week also started a ‘trial’ gratitude journaling course at the West End Centre. So far it is a book of affirmations toward gratitude and colouring in, but I may be missing something. We will see.

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019

Reflections 2019 w18

The battle between man and beast has started. Seedlings have started to disappear under a trail of slime.

One has made a conscious decision not to use pellets up the allotment, but the method I was going to use cannot yet be done. The temperature rating/recommendation is steadily over 5deg c, and we keep nipping down to 1deg c. So the blighters have had a head start.

The pond is showing life, I counted 3 frogs there last week, and 2 more under upturned pots. Any hedgehog has gotten a home built for it by myself and my son, and it has free access onto the plot via a hedgehog arch in the fence.

It is because one wants the wildlife to eat the blighters the decision has been made to forgo the toxins. Nematodes, my trial for this year, do not poison the creatures that eat the slugs, but they do kill the slugs, from the inside out.

We are not allowed up on the plot after dusk, so we cannot go a hunting with torches and a bucket. So that leaves traps, with an attractant in them. This does seem to be counter intuitive, attracting the slugs to the plot in order to kill some of them. One would rather not attract them at all.

Fingers crossed the greenhouse platform and move will be done this week and my young seedlings will have a moat of water protecting the legs of the stand they sit upon, This has yet to be built, as it is going to be made from the greenhouse frame that is not going to be used. The buggers will have to swim to get them then.

 

www.awanderthroughthemind.co.uk/reflections-2019