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Black dogs’a calling

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Grrrr

I watched a video on Facebook today called I had a black dog. The video was trying to explain what it is like with depression, the black dog.

Anybody who has  a dog as a pet, companion, friend, will understand just how loyal a dog can be and how they will always want to be with you and have boundless energy. The analogy is a good one and I am lucky to have a Jack Russell who does her best to keep the black dog at bay, she is my mental protector, noticing the visitor before me.

To go further I once heard a Quote that went something like “they incarcerated my body but they could never incarcerate my mind”. A powerful reminder that ones perception of the world is in the mind and the mind can carry us anywhere real or imagined.

Exactly what makes this world more real from say, an imagined one, at times is only a state of perception, often that of a ‘professionals’, in other words someone else perception. Who, ironically, can section (incarcerate), and then legally alter your state of mind through medication, without having any reference to how your mind worked before. Do we all like Broccoli, Sprouts, Stilton cheese or Marmite? If not should we all be medicated till we do?

Sorry I digress, It’s a pet peeve that I am intelligent enough to Lie on the multiple choice, Yes Really, Multiple frickin choice, questionnaire of mental health to be Perfectly healthy. But the same smarts also give me the reality something is wrong so I don’t.

But back to the black dog video, it’s a good video. For me however it misses a major factor, my mind has incarcerated itself and as the exact opposite of bodily incarceration, I can, with a fight, change location. I just take the prison with me, the black dog however has a get out of jail free card, and a get back in one. Heck he may even have a key.

I had scans,MRI’s and a batch of other tests at the beginning, the free gifts of stammering/stuttering and twitching that came with the depression saw to that. Hoping that the results showed a brain tumour or something is not what I would wish upon anyone, It’s just not right. I was looking for a way to remove the black dog back then, something physical to point at and go, “Your to blame”.

He’s visiting again, I never know how long he plans to stay.

Fight or Flight, where the *£@! is option 3???

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